I’m baaaack. Beauty Blast #8 is here. Everything I’ve included below is actually worth your hard-earned money. I vouch for everything below. You can hold me accountable.

As always, let’s blast.

A month or so ago, I fell over one night. Only God knows whether I tripped over my shoelace or my personality. 

I was out one night. Laughing. The next thing I remember, I was in bed eating McDonald's (double cheeseburger combo with a splash of mayo and diet coke - hold the ice) with a sharp pain on my chin. A few moments later, I let out the gayest scream I could muster when I saw my chin all slashed up.

Just look at the mess I created.

There’s something so sensual about a decadent shower ritual. Coming home from the beach, when you’ve basked in the sweltering sun for maybe too long, or when you’ve had a miserable day and everything’s cooked and nothing’s gone right. All you can count on is a five-minute piping hot shower to drown your sorrows and forget about everything for a minute as the water encompasses every inch of you.

If you’re looking for a new sexy product to soothe your pandemic blues, you might just find it here. You have my word; this carefully curated selection of potions, lotions, elixirs, creams, hell, even mouthwash is everything you need and nothing you don’t. Without further adieu, let’s…. fucking….blast.

About 30 or so minutes ago, I abruptly realised I’ve now been locked up for three weeks. I have my own apartment, which is dope but deadly. I’m the perfect toxic mixture of an introvert-extrovert, so I’m constantly battling the lockdown slump (borderline claustrophobia) or weirdly feeling quite cosy.

Right now, all I really have is myself and my beauty products. That’s it. I’m not at the point where I will start colour coordinating them or murmuring to them; that’s likely to come soon. I haven’t written a beauty blast in like five or so months, so this should be beautifully disappointing.

As always, let’s blast.